For over two decades, Mr. Neal Cousins has worked within the walls of the school to alleviate the pressures that come with being a high school student, and, more specifically, a college applicant. Students in Wilson Hall have grown accustomed to his warm, welcoming presence in the college counseling office, as he has played a pivotal role in hundreds of upper school journeys. After twenty-five years of wisdom and enthusiasm, Mr. Cousins is ready to retire from his role as the director of college counseling.
Initially drawn to admissions work, Mr. Cousins started his journey in college counseling at the Trinity-Pawling School in New York, where he familiarized himself with an all-boys environment.
“At the age of twenty-eight, I said, ‘I’d like to do some admissions work’, and they said, ‘Well, we don’t have any space in our admissions office, but we do have an opening in college counseling.’ And of course my response was, ‘Sure, what’s that?’” Mr. Cousins said.
After a decade in New York, Mr. Cousins made the transition to what would become a second home for the next twenty-five years.
What has changed really significantly in the last ten years is that students need to tell their story.
Mr. Neil Cousins
“Ms. [Karen] Ley called me and said, ‘We’re looking for a college counselor, are you interested?’ I came down, had a conversation, met Ms. Ley, met Mr. [Mark] Thorburn, a few other people, and I thought, ‘Wow, what a great place,’” Mr. Cousins said.
The college counseling department has always been characterized by a willingness to adapt, which Mr. Cousins believes is one of the chief reasons for their success.
“When Mr. [Matt] Green was here as Head of Upper School, one thing that he always said about what we do in this office is, ‘We’re always looking for ways to build a better mousetrap’, and I think that’s indicative of the people in this office,” Mr. Cousins said. “It’d be very easy to do the same thing year after year after year, but we’re constantly looking for ways to say, ‘Ok, this has changed. How are we going to respond to that?’”
Throughout his career, Mr. Cousins has observed several changes in his field of work.
“College counseling has changed a lot in the thirty-four years I’ve been doing this,” Mr. Cousins said. “When I started, it was like, ‘Ok, what are your test scores, what’s your grade point average, how many honors courses do you have, and can you get into this school?’ What has changed really significantly in the last ten years is that students need to tell their story. We spend a lot of time with students saying, ‘How are you going to tell your story? What is it that’s important to you? What is it that you like to dig into in the classroom? What is it that you like to dig into outside of the classroom?’”
Get involved in the classroom, get involved outside the classroom, get involved outside the walls of this school, and constantly ask yourself: ‘Did my involvement today make this better?’ If you can ask yourself that question, then you’re going to be on the right track.
Mr. Neil Cousins
Along with his line of work, Mr. Cousins has also experienced a personal evolution.
“It’s funny, after two years of being a college counselor, I said, ‘Oh, I’ve got this. I know everything there is to know,’” Mr. Cousins said. “And then after about five years, you realize, ‘There’s a lot of stuff I still don’t know,’ and you spend the rest of your career trying to keep getting better at those things.”
The most significant growth that Mr. Cousins feels he has made is his approach to conversation, by emphasizing listening over simply giving advice.
“I think I’ve become a much better listener,” Mr. Cousins said. “Usually students and parents know the answers to the questions they’re asking, and learning how to not just give an answer, but to listen and let you come to the conclusion on your own, I think is the most effective skill that any counselor or teacher can have.”
Despite the excitement of professional adaptation, it can be difficult to perform the same job every year. Mr. Cousins credits much of his passion to the new wave of students that he gets to meet every year.
Still, after thirty-four years, when a student comes in and says, ‘I got in,’ it’s those moments that to me are the best.
Mr. Neil Cousins
“The best time of year is January and February, because that’s when we start with a new group of students, and that’s when we hear the new stories,” Mr. Cousins said. “That’s the part of the process that I like more than anything else, working through that very initial stage of discovery, as they start to think about who they are, who they really want to be, and how they want to tell that story.”
In all his years as a college counselor, the rush of satisfaction that comes with making an impact on students’ lives has never waned.
“Walking through the doorway here, it’s been close to 2500 students that we’ve all worked with that have gone on to college,” Mr. Cousins said. “Still, after thirty-four years, when a student comes in and says, ‘I got in,’ it’s those moments that to me are the best.”
As he prepares to depart from the school this summer, Mr. Cousins is still imparting valuable lessons to the student body.
“We say it all the time: work hard, play hard,” Mr. Cousins said. “Get involved in the classroom, get involved outside the classroom, get involved outside the walls of this school, and constantly ask yourself: ‘Did my involvement today make this better?’ If you can ask yourself that question, then you’re going to be on the right track.”
